The current pandemic has taken a lot from us in many different ways; here in this corner of the internet we’re still lamenting the loss of Adam Schlesinger, one half of New Jersey’s suburban power-pop version of McCartney/Lennon. Schlesinger and Chris Collingwood were the primary songwriters for Fountains of Wayne, a band they formed in the mid-90s with Jody Porter and Brian Young, then broke through into the mainstream with “Stacy’s Mom” in 2003 and went on a now-permanent hiatus following their 2011 album Sky Full of Holes. Over those 15 years, 5 albums and a B-sides compilation, the band created a universe of their own, full of mundanity, traffic, weather, and the sad sack characters who either fell victim to or fought against it all.
I was in high school the first time I saw Fountains of Wayne somewhere in Brooklyn. I haven’t been able to narrow down exactly what show it was, but I saw them at least three more times after that. What I do remember about that show was their performance of “Hey Julie,” because I actually got pulled up on stage. The band would have some audience members on random percussion during the song and I was the lucky one that night, playing a tambourine with one of the band members’ girlfriends. At the time, I had a sweatshirt wrapped around my waist because it was hot in the venue and I didn’t want to put it on the ground. 14-year-old me frantically tried to untie it in the moment between being chosen and grabbing the hand extended to me, to no avail. In hindsight, is there anything more Fountains of Wayne than being slightly embarrassed that you’re wearing a sweatshirt tied around your waist?
The true story behind the band is as heartbreaking as the life of a Fountains of Wayne character. Two great friends, brought together by music, who slowly fell apart. “Stacy’s Mom” was a huge success, but a lot of the general public didn’t use it as a springboard for discovery of the rest of the band’s catalogue. The fandom became warring factions of people who thought the band was a novelty and people who truly loved the band. Soon, Chris’ alcoholism and a brutal touring schedule broke him: a mental breakdown in Japan cancelled a tour and brought him back home. While their success within Fountains of Wayne was shared, outside the band, Adam made his living writing music for movies, television, and other artists. Chris, on the other hand, was constantly on the verge of being broke. He has said that while recording Traffic and Weather he was completely checked out, barely contributed to much of the album — which bares itself out in the music, as it’s my personal least favorite of the band’s five records — and ultimately lost his equal footing within the band to Adam. It was a fight when he came back for recording of the next album, having to assert himself back into the position he used to hold within the band. Having gotten sober and experienced a few albums’ worth of trauma, Chris no longer felt like writing or singing humor-laden lyrics, a hallmark of the band’s catalogue. They released Sky Full of Holes, which despite the difficulties is one of their best, in 2011, and that was it. In 2019, Chris told the Boston Globe that he had to stop driving for Uber because his car aged out of their requirements and had signed up for a few temp agencies. He eventually reached out to a producer he said he couldn’t afford on LinkedIn to produce his solo album, Look Park, and succeeded. The album is a more tender, at times darker, less snarky version of the power-pop that made Chris famous in the first place. In that same Globe interview, Chris said he wasn’t in contact with Adam anymore, and he didn’t even know where he lived.
After Adam’s death, Chris spoke to Rolling Stone about their long relationship:
“I really miss the feeling we both got watching each other’s wheels turning when bringing a new song to the band — “Here’s where the tambourine comes in,” “What if there was a drum break here,” “Here’s the backing vocal I’m hearing” — most of that shit going completely unsaid, because it wasn’t necessary. Sometimes he would start air-drumming while I was playing him a new song, and it felt like one singular idea that was born in the air in front of us.”
“I loved him, and from my life with him I realized it’s true that people you love can piss you off more than anyone else.”
If there’s someone that you haven’t talked to in a while, maybe there was a falling out or some kind of fracture, maybe you kind of grew apart or maybe they did something that you just couldn’t forgive — maybe you should reconsider.
Anyway, here it is, all 101 songs by a band that deserved so much more than they got, 101 songs that helped bring down their creators but will also make sure they live on forever inside record sleeves and the ones and zeroes of Spotify, waiting for someone to accidentally stumble upon them, where they will become a part of their life for years to come:
Not ranked: “City Folk Morning” / “Number 45 Sunblock”
Neither of these are really songs, but radio promos included on the band’s 2005 outtake compilation, Out-of-State Plates.
101. “Chanukah Under The Stars”
Also barely a song, “Chanukah Under the Stars” is a 16-second seemingly impromptu little thing released as a B-side to the band’s Christmas single, “I Want An Alien For Christmas” following their debut album.
100. “The Story In Your Eyes”
A bonus track for Sky Full of Holes exclusively for Amazon purchases, “The Story In Your Eyes” is a Moody Blues cover with an uncharacteristically hard-rocking guitar solo.
99. “Imperia”
The final song on the track list for Out-of-State Plates was on the flip side of one of the band’s most popular singles, “Radiation Vibe.” It doesn’t crack two minutes or leave much of an impression.
98. “Sense Into You”
“Sense Into You” is one of two songs I had never heard before starting this list. A bonus track with the Japanese release of Traffic and Weather, it wears its Steve Miller influence on its sleeve.
97. “California Sex Lawyer”
Another non-album song, this one written for a power-pop compilation in 2000, that’s mostly just its premise and nothing more.
96. “Today’s Teardrops”
Out-of-State Plates also contains a number of cover songs — quite randomly chosen it seems. “Today’s Teardrops” is a song written by Gene Pitney but performed Ricky Nelson and Roy Orbison at different times. This performance really brings to mind what the band could’ve been like as a Marty Robbins-Gene Autry-Grand Ole Opry-style country band, even if it wouldn’t’ve sold a single unit in the ’90s.
95. “…Baby One More Time”
It’s not that I don’t like the original song or Fountains of Wayne’s performance of it here, but when you bear down on it, a cover of a Britney Spears song isn’t as good as the original or most other Fountains of Wayne songs.
94. “You Gotta Go”
Along with “Sense Into You,” “You Gotta Go” is the other song I didn’t even know about before doing my research in search of every one of the band’s songs. It’s the closest Fountains of Wayne ever got to the type of pop-punk that was popular in the ’00s, and as fun as some of the lyrics are — “jellyfish lying on the ocean floor doesn’t wanna be a jellyfish no more” — it makes sense why they hadn’t gone to this well before now.
93. “Elevator Up”
The bonus track from what is probably the band’s best album, 2003’s Welcome Interstate Managers, would have felt at home on that album proper but would’ve only worked to watering it down.
92. “Song of the Passaic”
This Sky Full Of Holes bonus track flows quickly and smoothly like the river it describes; a chugging acoustic guitar and verses that run right into each other with almost no breather.
91. “Places”
“Places” would be a pretty apt title for more than half of Fountains of Wayne’s songs. It’s a cute little tune that does not overstay its welcome.
90. “Kid Gloves”
Even though “Kid Gloves” doesn’t rank high, even amongst the other outtakes, Chris’ voice sounds as good on it as it ever did.
89. “Killermont Street”
A cover of a song originally by ’80s Scottish band Aztec Camera: this cover doesn’t change much in the arrangement or the performance.
88. “Can’t Get It Out Of My Head”
This live cover of ELO’s “Can’t Get It Out Of My Head” was the last track on Out-of-State Plates first disc. The live energy really pushes this cover ahead of a few of the band’s others.
87. “Trains and Boats and Planes”
This Burt Bacharach cover was an interesting choice for the B-side of the “Stacy’s Mom” single
86. “Prom Theme”
As appropriate a theme to filling out the world of Utopia Parkway as there ever was. Even with the epic-feeling building slowly throughout the song, the melody seems to lay mostly flat. It’s all totally worth it, though, for this essential Fountains of Wayne take on prom:
“We’ll pass out on the beach
Our keys just out of reach
Soon we’ll say good bye
Then we’ll work until we die”
85. “Nightlight”
A simple, sweet lullaby that first appeared on the B-side for “Red Dragon Tattoo” and then later collected on Out-Of-State Plates.
84. “I Want An Alien For Christmas”
A perfectly goofy Christmas original in the style of any of the carols that Alvin and Chipmunks would’ve covered.
83. “The Senator’s Daughter”
A mostly boring ballad that closes the band’s second album, Utopia Parkway. It was the second time in a row they stuck the worst song they had at the end of the album, a problem they wouldn’t really solve until their last album.
82. “Traffic and Weather”
A very simple song lyrically that also feels like it is intentionally washing out the vocals, something the band’s music isn’t really made for. Despite the fact that ‘traffic and weather’ is basically the genre of music that Fountains of Wayne writes, this song is nothing more than “what if the news anchors hooked up?”
81. “I’ll Do The Driving”
This song about a somewhat ditzy girl comes off much meaner than many of the band’s better songs about oddball characters. The condescending throughout is probably what kept it off any album, or at least what should have.
80. “Planet of Weed”
Fountains of Wayne’s stoner songs after their debut always felt a little too sanitized — very much in the ‘peace, brother’ mode of stoner than anything else.
79. “The Man In The Santa Suit”
A Christmas song that’s more in line with one of the sadder Fountains of Wayne songs than the song it was backing (“I Want An Alien For Christmas); it’s about the pathetic life of a man who dresses up as Santa because he needs the money.
78. “Everything’s Ruined”
Really the only time on Fountains of Wayne, the band’s debut, where they stepped away from the ’90s alt-rock-tinged power-pop singalong for a glacially-paced, almost whisper-sung style that has not endured nearly as much as every other song on the album — according to setlist.fm they played it once in 1996 and once in 1997 and never again. While the song serves as a kind of breather, a denouement following the high pace of the 11 tracks preceding it, it’s understandable if on re-listens you turn Fountains of Wayne off after “Please Don’t Rock Me Tonight.”
77. “Hotel Majestic”
The song that Chris said was his favorite from Traffic and Weather, “Hotel Majestic” is named for the hotel the band stayed in while writing and recording the album. The claustrophobic lyrics contrast with a pretty piano part and an ’80s synth that’re danceable if forgettable.
76. “Go Hippie”
A character song from Utopia Parkway about someone who is all the stereotypes of a hippie who may or may not actually truly believe all the things they’re fighting for, but do it anyway because they’ve self-identified as a hippie, and therefore, have to do the things that hippies do.
75. “I Know You Well”
Another cut song, this one from the B-side to “Denise” and included as the Japanese bonus track for Utopia Parkway. “I Know You Well” is sugary-sweet like much of the melodies that the band seems to just drool out in their sleep.
74. “The Valley of Malls”
The nomads suddenly looking up and realizing where they are. Of course, the suburbia version of the story is a minivan full of people who suddenly realize they’re surrounded by a massive amount of commercialism.
73. “Seatbacks and Traytables”
The closing song and one of three that Chris says he brought to the table on Traffic and Weather. While the song itself is somber, the lyrics are simple, almost lacking the depth to live up to that tone.
72. “I Want You Around”
Recorded with the group of songs that made up the band’s self-titled debut, “I Want You Around” is a sparse, acoustic love song that was tagged onto the release of the “Survival Car” single.
71. “Comedienne”
A song about a struggling female comic who’s also struggling with being. a female in comedy that was cut from the band’s first album.
70. “This Better Be Good”
A song about the moment of confronting someone about a lie, but the spot where it lacks is a surprise: the chorus. It’s almost Beach Boys in its rising falsetto harmonies, but for some reason it’s just not a mode that works for the band.
69. “Small Favors”
“Small Favors” was one of only three originals that had not been released in any capacity until Out-Of-State Plates. It’s a pretty straight-forward song with the band in essentially their default mode, and while it’s better than most of the other B-sides, it doesn’t quite measure up to those two other originals, “Maureen” and “The Girl I Can’t Forget.”
68. “Revolving Dora”
You can find the Kinks influence throughout Fountains of Wayne’s discography — here more the pop Kinks than any kind of country & western. “Revolving Dora” is a mostly disposable song about a guy in love with a girl that he can’t quite understand.
67. “Michael and Heather At the Baggage Claim”
A cute little airport love song from the back half of Traffic and Weather that just kind of floats into existence and then floats right into the next song — in a good way.
66. “You’re Just Never Satisfied”
The backside of the “Troubled Times” single is an appropriate pair for that dreamy, sweet classic: it’s a little grungy and a little fed up.
64. “Strapped For Cash”
A groovy kind of jam with vocal effects and horns that’s rather unique from most of the songs the band ever recorded — although there’s a reason something like this wasn’t their go-to.
63. “Janice’s Party”
The ba-ba-ba’s that open this outtake are so in your face as to make them almost sound satirical before we get the story of a guy who opens the door to welcome people to the party — even though he’s not the host.
62. “Firelight Waltz”
One of the many wistful-sounding songs from the band’s final album, “Firelight Waltz” is that slow, epic-feeling but goofy-looking drunken dance you do after the party has ended but you’re still somehow awake.
61. “Barbara H.”
Chris has said that “Barbara H.” is about his wife while he was working on the band’s first album, annoyed by the repeating songs on the radio (in this case “Champagne Supernova” by Oasis), compounded by the fact that she had to hear Chris’ songs repeating over and over again. But it doesn’t matter whether or not she listens to his band or goes to his shows — because she loves him.
60. “Baby I’ve Changed”
This song originally from the B-side of the “Hey Julie” single would’ve fit well on an album — upbeat, barely more than two minutes, a beautiful melody — there’s just no room for it on the album it was recorded for which ended up as the band’s very best.
59. “Halley’s Waitress”
In reference to Halley’s Comet, which only comes into sight once a lifetime or so, “Halley’s Waitress” is about a missing-in-action waitress and the patrons she’s neglecting. The teasing keyboard notes make the song feel like it’s always on the verge but never releasing, exacerbating the impatience and waiting of the song’s lyrics.
58. “Half A Woman”
This song was culled for Out-Of-State Plates from demos Adam and Chris recorded as Pinnwheel before they became Fountains of Wayne, and points them in a slightly different direction than the one they ultimately took. With a circus-style bobbing piano, the song still features the wistful melody and the story-song lyrics they would further develop later, but the arrangement is a little sparser and Chris’ vocals a little less clean.
57. “Hat and Feet”
A visual metaphor for the feeling of being completely taken aback by something — while not explicit, it seems like a sudden break-up or some other personal revelation between two people in a relationship.
56. “Amity Gardens”
Named for a tiny Bucks County, PA town that’s closer to Reading than it is anything else, “Amity Gardens” is about the person who got out facing down the idea of having to return.
55. “Action Hero”
While the verses of “Action Hero” describe a fairly regular if not boring life backed by a stocky, steady beat, the chorus jumps into his imagination — “He should be fighting crime, leaping between building, racing against time” — with big, soaring guitars, mimicking his inner thoughts sonically. Of course, he’s not an Arnold Schwarzenegger character racing against time to stop some villain or save some girl, he’s a regular human man racing against the inexorable march of time to live his life just as we all are.
54. “Laser Show”
With a classic-rock reminiscent melody in the chorus, “Laser Show” is a quick, cute little song in the approximate style of the types of bands whose songs would be set to lasers way back whenever it was that they did that — with specific references to Metallica and Pink Floyd.
53. “Karpet King”
“Karpet King” — one of the band’s better B-sides — is a character portrait about an upstate New Jersey divorced dad, his bad job laying down carpet, and his even worse love life.
52. “Fire Island”
A slow-burning plea from a couple of teenagers to their parents to let them stay home unsupervised from Fire Island, at least in the chorus. In the verses, it’s all about the epic party they’re gonna throw once they get that chance.
51. “Denise”
By itself, “Denise” is a character song with crunchy guitars that doesn’t go too far beyond that. Taken as part of Utopia Parkway, it’s parent album, though, the song works towards the world-building that the band was going for. Utopia Parkway is like this mosaic of suburban North Jersey/New York City, so when we’re zoomed in something like “Denise” may look simple, but it’s essential to the whole picture once we’re looking at it from afar.
50. “Richie and Ruben”
A classic Fountains premise — two guys with a bunch of business schemes who’ll swindle you out of all your money — with a catchy chorus and the opportunity for plenty of classic Fountains wordplay. And the neat little twist that the whole song is actually coming as a warning from a narrator who’s already been taken by them: “They’ll blow through your dough just like they blew through mine.”
49. “Acela”
Fountains of Wayne certainly sound like the Beatles throughout their catalogue — in some way most pop bands of the last 60 years sound like the Beatles — but the little bluesy guitar licks between verses really nails a very specific late-period George Harrison vibe, Revolver-The Beatles-Abbey Road-era stuff. The song itself is about someone getting stood-up on the Acela train from New York/New Jersey to Boston, but he still takes the train all the way to South Station and gets back on to go home.
48. “Yolanda Hayes”
Fountains of Wayne can find the potential for love anywhere from Cape May up to the city, including the many hours spent inside a DMV.
47. “These Days”
While most of the band’s released cover songs appeared much further down on the list, due to the nature of being a cover song, Jackson Browne’s “These Days” is both a great song and a perfect fit for Chris’ voice.
46. “Supercollider”
The most trippy Fountains of Wayne song, “Supercollider” is a series of Revolver-era Beatles guitars and seemingly disjointed lyrics.
45. “Peace and Love”
A pretty stereotypical portrayal of a couple of hippies, though it’s played completely straight. You get the feeling that even if the songwriters don’t actually drive a Volkswagen van or want to open a bookstore in Vermont, it doesn’t mean they don’t genuinely believe in peace and love.
44. “Radio Bar”
A rarity in Fountains of Wayne songs, the horns present in “Radio Bar” take the song to the next level, elevating the nostalgic lyrics to something much more joyful — which makes sense when we get to the end of the song and realize it isn’t nostalgia but the true story of how Adam met his wife.
43. “Bought For A Song”
With some wailing guitars and an essential drum breakdown, “Bought For A Song” is Welcome Interstate Managers‘s road song, only the road is just Japan and the band in the song doesn’t much believe in the music they’re there to play.
42. “A Fine Day For A Parade”
Paired with “Go Hippie” on Utopia Parkway, “A Fine Day For A Parade” could be about the lonely mother of the former song’s main character. With no mention of a husband, the conservative old woman who lost her daughter years ago to some kind of commune or cult now just sits at home and rails at the state of her neighborhood while getting drunk.
41. “A Road Song”
Literally what the title says it is: just a little road song, Fountains do The Eagles. City to city, melancholic and yearning, sending word back to whoever you’ve left at home: “Even if you roll your eyes and groan, I’m still writing you a road song you can call your own.”
40. “All Kinds of Time”
A song that takes place entirely within the time between the snap and the throw in a football game. The quarterback doesn’t actually have much time, but instead the absolute focus and calm demeanor to make a few seconds feel like much more. The song itself feels like it is stuck in molasses, slow-motion mucking through the verses where the QB runs through his life and what’s ahead. The metaphorical reading of a young person at the beginning of their life or their career who feel like it’ll be this easy forever, with the whole world in front of them, despite our knowledge that it won’t, is crushing.
39. “’92 Subaru”
A paean to old, shitty cars — a soft-pitch meatball right down the plate in terms of song subjects for Fountains of Wayne. One of the most endearing parts about a catalogue of songs about struggling suburbanites, dead-eyed city folk, and banal 9-to-5-ers is that every so often the singer includes himself as one of them, too.
“This thing is a beast value will only increase
In negotiating terms like peace in the middle east
There’s only three of it’s kind they’re easy to find
Got people waiting in line to pay me double for mine”
38. “Workingman’s Hands”
“Workingman’s Hands” is about the dad or uncle or grandfather in your life who can seemingly fix anything with a final line that says everything you need to know without actually saying anything at all: “Now, that old iron gate could use some fresh paint.”
37. “Fire In The Canyon”
Another dip into country music, this one truly proving the band could’ve fit right into the style of music whose musicians had those weird little variety shows if only they’d been in Nashville 50 years ago. And in a nice match of form and content, the song is a road tune detailing the town-to-town nature of a tour.
36. “Maureen”
“Maureen” was the lead single from the compilation Out-of-State Plates, which was basically just a way to put out something new following the success of “Stacy’s Mom.” Even if “Maureen” didn’t reach much of an audience, it was certainly well-chosen as a single, as it’s one of the better songs from the outtakes; a summery pop song with ‘uh-uh-uh’s’ and a Roger Daltry stutter on the chorus that would stick in your head if not for all the other Fountains of Wayne songs you’re listening to.
35. “Yours and Mine”
The closing song for the band’s best album is also their shortest ever recorded. “Yours and Mine” is a softly-sung break-up song — no anger, no resentment, just resignation. While sonically it works as a quick pallet cleanser before the album ends and we have to flip it back to the start, lyrically it’s got a casual demeanor towards something that’s so rarely casual that it’s almost dark by default.
34. “Mexican Wine”
“Mexican Wine” had the unfortunate duty of following “Stacy’s Mom” as a single from Welcome Interstate Managers, a position it did not fulfill, at least by sales standards. But the song is one of the band’s best; verses about lost and confused people (including the narrator), death, and hopelessness with a “the sun’ll come out tomorrow” chorus of hopefulness.
33. “She’s Got A Problem”
A very pretty melody about the singer essentially putting a friend on suicide watch. She’s both depressed and also manifests that depression in wild and unpredictable ways every time she goes out. There’s something just perfectly, slightly off-kilter about the guitar solo that really locks the whole thing into place.
32. “Survival Car”
One of four singles from the band’s self-titled debut album, “Survival Car” has the “ooh-la-las” of a Beach Boys song and the grungy chorus of the ’90s. The song — about a terrible driver and his vehicle of choice — didn’t survive as well as some of the other early songs in terms of fan favoritism and set lists, but it remains a classic nonetheless.
31. “Utopia Parkway”
Following the modest success of their debut album, Fountains of Wayne announced their presence on the follow-up with an opening song about a guy in a rather unsuccessful band who refuses to grow up. Sort of a tacit display of understanding that old maxim — when you point at someone you’ve got four fingers pointing back at yourself. Just as they poke at everyone else around them, Fountains of Wayne poke at themselves most often.
30. “It Must Be Summer”
Kicking off with a jangling Byrds-esque riff and then jumping into the story of a lonely man stuck in the city by himself while everyone else is at the beach and the girl he can’t seem to locate.
29. “Stacy’s Mom”
The real thought experiment of the band’s career trajectory is “what if ‘Stacy’s Mom’ wasn’t a huge hit?” The song was on the Billboard Hot 100 for 17 weeks, peaking at #21. It reached the top spot on the iTunes Store’s most downloaded songs and peaked at #3 on the Billboard Mainstream Top 40. The goofy, MILF-crush lyrics are backed by what is basically a cover of “Just What I Needed” by The Cars and propelled the song into the culture’s consciousness and the band onto an entirely new path. More than eight years into their recording career, they were nominated for Best New Artist by the Grammy’s. But it didn’t seem like newcomers to the band became ones who returned much, and suddenly, Fountains of Wayne was a punchline. Could they have continued squeaking out a living releasing quirky power-pop music under the radar? Could a more gradual rise to the mainstream have led to another song, maybe one that could’ve been taken more seriously by casual listeners, to become their most popular song and therefore, a more sustained peak? Either way, it’s not the songs fault. In that alternate universe, it’s an underrated, catchy-as-hell gem with silly, almost-forgettable lyrics from an early album, especially since the run of songs on Welcome Interstate Managers that follows it is possibly the best run in their career (“Hackensack” to “Hung Up On You”)*.
28. “Someone’s Gonna Break Your Heart”
The first and only Sky Full Of Holes single released, this song is a pretty good example of the darker turn that the band’s final album took compared to their previous work. An upbeat song with minor key “ohs”, a driving piano, and forced optimism.
27. “New Routine”
One of the Traffic and Weather songs that sounds like it’d fit on either one of the preceding albums (Utopia Parkway and Welcome Interstate Managers); the hanging guitar, the goofy rhymes, and what is ultimately a fairly poignant story about people becoming restless and tired of life.
26. “The Summer Place”
This Sky Full Of Holes opening track is about a woman who may be a little unstable and the healing powers that the beach house has — or more, is supposed to have but never really does.
25. “Hate To See You Like This”
If there’s a bittersweet-sounding version of the arena-rock-of-old guitar riffs that Fountains of Wayne typically write, it’s the chord progression in “Hate To See You Like This.” The mix of acoustic and electric guitars set the mood for the lamenting boy and a depressed girl.
24. “Joe Rey”
Truly the first of the band’s character songs, highlighting offbeat people by detailing different aspects of their life. The song doesn’t have much depth beyond the portrait, but the driving guitar and Chris’ upbeat vocals helped cement it as a Fountains of Wayne standard long ago.
23. “You Curse At Girls”
Paired together with the similarly-themed “Leave the Biker” on Fountains of Wayne, though more of a ballad than its rocking predecessor, “You Curse At Girls” is addressed to the asshole guy in a relationship, with “cursing” at her standing in for any other type of anger and abuse.
22. “I-95”
A long distance love song that us East Coasters always have an excuse for, thanks to the title highway’s prevalence (running from Miami through basically ever major East Coast city before reaching the Maine-Canada border). The sure-footed beat of the song helps the little details of the gas station imagery feel more poetic than tacky.
“It’s a nine hour drive
From me to you
South on I-95 and I’ll
Do it ’til the day that I die
If I need to
Just to see you”
21. “The Girl I Can’t Forget”
Probably the best album outtake that has surfaced from the band’s career. “The Girl I Can’t Forget” is a bouncing pop story-song with a twist ending buoyed by a horn section and quick rhymes.
A Few Honorable Mentions
Before jumping into the top 20 here, I did just want to shout out some of Adam and Chris’ songs outside of Fountains of Wayne. Adam did a lot of work in film and television, writing the Wonders’ one-hit from That Thing You Do!, Tom Hanks’ directorial debut, a song that sounded mostly like if Fountains of Wayne broke through in the late ’50s and would certainly place high on this list. He also wrote most of the music from the hilarious Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, songs for the iconic Josie and the Pussycats, three of the songs from the Drew Barrymore romantic comedy Music and Lyrics, plus a bunch more. In 2016, Chris released an album under the moniker Look Park with a few songs — “Aeroplane” and “You Can Come Round If You Want To” in particular — that could’ve placed in the top 30 here.
20. “Cold Comfort Flowers”
Everything will leave us eventually — feelings of comfort, no matter how comforting, will eventually bloom and die. Another one of the more melancholic songs from Sky Full Of Holes that really pulls it off, helping prove the band could’ve had a career as staid straight-ahead rock-poets if they had wanted it.
19. “I’ve Got A Flair”
An early example of the band going jangly, sunshine-pop, “I’ve Got A Flair” is about two people, ones a little stinker who’s always on the others nerves, written from the point of view of the annoyer rather than the annoyee.
18. “A Dip In The Ocean”
I like that “A Dip In The Ocean” is written ambiguously enough that we don’t know if the pair at the center of the song are a couple or just two friends. Someone’s facing an upcoming surgery, and someone else is distracting them with a little day trip.
17. “Lost In Space”
A more humane twist on a song like the Rolling Stones’ “Stupid Girl,” “Los in Space” is a love song about someone who’s not quite all there all the time.
16. “No Better Place”
Not so much a plea not to leave as it trying to put on a brave face and accept it. He starts off with a few jokes about it, but by the end of the song, we know he’s devastated inside.
“And it may be the whiskey talking
But the whiskey says I miss you every day”
15. “Someone To Love”
Compared to the other four albums, I found much of Traffic and Weather to have an off-putting production style, one that placed a flattening sheen over many of the album’s best melodies — perhaps attributable to Chris’ professed mental absence during the recording. While it is still apparent on “Someone to Love”, the song’s pop ambitions are so forceful that it largely breaks through. Two zombified New Yorkers searching for love pass by each other without a word in a vignette backed by a mid-00s alt-rock track with bubble gum oh-oh-oh’s.
14. “Sick Day”
The very first 9-to-5 grind Fountains of Wayne song details the daily Jersey to New York City commute of a woman who really only has a sick day to look forward to in her life.
13. “Radiation Vibe”
Fountains of Wayne’s very first single is buoyed by some kind of magnetic groove and the crunchy guitars of an alternative band making their debut in 1996. The narrator tries to cheer someone up out of a funk — a hint at how mental illness would serve as a subject for many future songs to come — by simply going outside.
12. “Please Don’t Rock Me Tonight”
“Please Don’t Rock Me Tonight” earns its place on this list almost based solely on its chorus — which to be fair is what most of the song is, anyway.
11. “Troubled Times”
Coming from an omniscient third-person narrator, “Troubled Times” is a sunny song about a boy and girl who pine after each other but have not ever worked up the courage to act on their feelings; they have a pre-existing relationship, though the song isn’t clear on the exact history. The song is dreamy and poignant but still sweet and grounded, one of the band’s quintessential wistful, bittersweet melodies.
10. “Bright Future In Sales”
“Bright Future in Sales” might be the quintessential example of a Fountains of Wayne song about someone pathetic that manages to refrain from judgement. An alcoholic up-and-coming salesman who has deluded himself into thinking that his career path is going to be fulfilling, if only he can get his life together. He’s the sinner who makes promises to his god in moments of desperation, but never quite follows through on those promises. And he’s relatable in his starry-eyed exclamations of ambition even if we don’t believe them–because he genuinely does.
9. “Sink To The Bottom”
Immediately following “Radiation Vibe” on Fountains of Wayne, “Sink To The Bottom” takes the opposite tact — instead of cheering up a friend, the singer wallows with them. The wavy, up and down guitar makes the whole thing feel underwater and the fuzziness of the chorus makes the whole thing feel angry.
8. “Little Red Light”
One of many Fountains of Wayne songs about someone working an unfulfilling job, this one compounded by the fact that the singer has recently been broken up with. It’s perhaps the most ragged rock ‘n’ roll that Chris’ vocals have ever sounded, or at least since the band’s first album.
7. “Leave the Biker”
An ode to the sensitive guys, the soft-hearted boys who’re afraid of the tough guys that his crush dates, the cryers and the prom date-less. This one manages to speak his true feelings about her boyfriend, or at least sing them.
6. “Red Dragon Tattoo”
The best song and second single from the band’s second album, “Red Dragon Tattoo” is like if the guy from “Leave the Biker” — sort of weak-willed and pathetic — decided that inking himself up would get him the girl. The song is absolutely stuffed with turns-of-phrases, goofy rhymes, Steve Miller-esque harmonies, and bursting power-pop chords.
5. “Valley Winter Song”
While Fountains of Wayne excels at Shel Silverstein level of fun, humorous lyricism, they also typically excelled when they eschewed that style, including here with the melancholic “Valley Winter Song” detailing the affect the harsh winter season can have on your mental health.
4. “Hey Julie”
While the singer in “Little Red Light” is working a thankless shitty job made thanklesser and shittier by his break-up and resulting loneliness, the singer in “Hey Julie” gets through his job — like a gerbil on a wheel — because he knows he’s got someone to come home to.
3. “Cemetery Guns”
The final song on the band’s final album, 2011’s Sky Full Of Holes, is an Iraq War funeral song called “Cemetery Guns.” With the militaristic drumrolls and the dirge-like melody, the singer narrates a soldier’s funeral, musing on the war and how ancestors who worked hard to try and build a life have to send their sons and daughters to die in a foreign country.
2. “Hung Up On You”
As a fan of classic country music and the Fountains of Wayne’s specific brand of power-pop, “Hung Up On You” is straight into my sweet spot. The pedal steel guitar may feel out of place, but so much of the band’s music is sort of secretly country music played with electric guitars (when it’s not just outright country music) that “Hung Up On You” just kind of works. In the vein of so many great country tunes, the song takes place almost entirely by the phone, as the singer sits waiting, either for a call or for his own courage to solidify enough to make the call himself — whichever comes first. Throw in a little phone wordplay — “ever since you hung up on me, I’m hung up on you” — some meandering piano and a laid-back guitar solo, and it’s a perfect blend of Grand Ole Opry-style country music and classic Fountains of Wayne pop.
1. “Hackensack”
There’s a reason the band chose to play “Hackensack” when they partially reunited for the “Jersey 4 Jersey” televised benefit show for pandemic relief last month joined by fellow New Jerseyan Sharon Van Etten in Adam’s place on bass. As one of the rest of the country’s common punchlines, New Jerseyans tend to build a stronger connection to their home in defense, and for those that put that connection on display, the rest of us tend to take notice. Two of the most famous musicians of all-time came from the Garden State, but we associate Bruce Springsteen and all his references and pride more with Jersey than Sinatra, who, beloved as he was and is, took the first chance he could to start singing about New York, New York. In “Hackensack,” the singer reaches out to an old childhood love who’s moved to LA to become an actress. It’s one of the quintessential entries in its genre: one part beautiful melody, one part the power of those five simple words that end the chorus, and one part the decision to represent some random seemingly insignificant New Jersey town and give it such significance. Adam was one of us, and Chris still is, something that throughout their careers as Fountains of Wayne, they were never once ashamed of. We may never be able to see the band perform live again, never hear them trade quips like Olympic ping-pongers trade a ball, never know what could have happened many years down the line; but at least we’ll always have songs like “Hackensack”:
“And I will wait for you
As long as I need to
And if you ever get back to Hackensack
I’ll be here for you”
Header image via FountainsOfWayne.com.
*This run of eight songs includes the, according to this list, numbers 1, 2, 4, 5, 8, 16, 40, and 59.